Friday, August 22, 2014

feeling down and in Auckland?

let me know,...don't do anything too drastic please, .....there's loads of stuff happening and loads of people who would love to be around you, or stuff you can do.

PM me and I will cheer you up hun. (not THAT kind of cheer up though, this ain't KRoad happy ending kinda deal)...I mean, if you feel that nothing is going well and you just want to talk to someone about your dramas, let me know:

I love listening. True story. And i love stories, telling stories, faiga stories and just talanoaing.

I don't repeat it unless you want me to and ideally it's needs to be really fascinating and involves some up in the air leg action (ballet is my passion) or anything. 

Things might seem like shit right now but I promise you that when you look back to it, it will be so trivial and so long ago. You might see a tunnel with no light, yes - it feels like that but there is help and there are people who LOVE you.
I love you!

so, here's the thing, .....when I was a young teen, I had some challenges, and no, I am not crying for attention at me, I get that like, ALL THE TIME! but my point is, things will get better.
I made a promise to myself long long time ago when I was an innocent virginal teen that I won't let all the fucken dramas define me, ruin me, 'effect' me.
Life seems tough now but I assure you that it gets better, with the help around you.
Email me:

Grab LIFE by the err, ears and love it!

my friend has a new blog, she's a bit of a virgin about the whole wordpress thing, so don't be mean

Oi Aue

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The Papalagi Guide to SIDS Conference. (Title offered by Kimo Goree).

In light of the up-coming SIDS conference, I and with the help of attendees who will be attending (gee - that was a pretty technical explanation), I have come up with some basic tips, ideas, Must dos and Don't for your visit to Samoa. This will make your SIDS experience well worth it.

1. How to dress formal and not look stupid? ( Question submitted by Kimo Goree)
If you have a formal suit, tie, jacket and closed shoes, ....forget it.
In Samoa, the formal dress code with be an elei shirt (the brighter the better) and an ie faitaga (picture below).
If you are not sure about your ie faitaga, don't despair, just ask any local or watch the video I'll insert later.
Ideally, men should wear undergarments because ain't nobody got time to see your crown jewels el' dangling in the breeze.

This is how it should look: (Photos borrowed without permission from Samoa Observer online, thank you!)

See how that ie faitaga is tied around his beautiful waist? No? Me neither. 
For women, you can buy a puletasi at the market or if you have $500 then get a MENA puletasi.
Or, wear whatever you brought but ideally not exposing your vajaguar or revealing your boobies., that's more of a safety issue rather than denying women their rights.

For all three genders, wear comfy shoes, like stilettos. Boots won't be necessary.

2. Eating protocol (not standing up and let important people eat first) etc.
If you're in a restaurant, no problemo....same as everywhere else, but if you are at a formal gathering and there are dignitaries or elderly important people - you let them get served first.
But don't be too polite and wait too long because if you do so, the Samoans will get to the buffet table and take it all. So be respectful, but not slow. ...find that fine line and you'll be fine. (:

3. What to bring and do to stay healthy
Bring your meds for diarrhea, panadols, antiseptic and most importantly, mosquito repellant. 
Bring Pepto or other type thing  for stomach dramas - be careful not to drink the tap water, because it will mean you'll be spending your SIDS days on a Samoan toilet. 
Bring snacks that you're familiar with to sustain yourself, it will be hot. 
Bring light clothing as well for when you're not at the go swimming in.
Drink plenty of bottled water to stay hydrated.

4. Basic words or phrases you need to know:
     Refer below

5. Belongings 
While you are in Paradise, hold onto your belongings, especially electronic goods, those are especially popular in the pawn shop and among the prisoners on parole, so be vigilant but not too like, weird about it.

6. If things are not on time, its okay - it's called Island time for a reason.
Just relax, play some candy crush or go meet some locals. (But be safe lol!)

7. If you have half a day or a day to kill and you want to quickly see a bit of Samoa., then - TOO BAD, you can't do a Savaii trip, however, there are some acceptable places in Apia you can see, eg:

  • Go to Papaseea Sliding Rocks (15 minutes from the venue)
  • Palolo Deep for snorkelling (downtown past the wharf)
  • A little further away is Le Uaina Resort with kayaking and pool
  • Piula Cave Pools (1 hour away from town)
  • Go with a group or ask a staffer about cost of these places to avoid being overcharged by a taxi driver or at the entrance. 
8. Be Kind, Be Considerate. Be a Caring Earthling.  
Be a considerate person and be appreciative of what is given to you. This is Samoa, relax and take a break, take it easy and have a Vailima.
Thousands of Samoans have worked tirelessly and unpaid to pull this off because they care and they are amazing like that. Majority of them are actually underpaid public service workers,  private sector and unpaid volunteers who have put in crazy hours to make this event a success. Be Kind. That's All.
And if you see a person named Henry Tunupopo or Faautu Talapusi, hug a slave child there and then and give them a pat on the back., or a shot of vodka to make them know they're amazing.

9. Go the extra mile
If you want to make someone's day, take some goodies with you to gift. Take eg, stationery for children, some cool tshirts, something from your country, earrings, shoes....any of those things you take for granted but will be well appreciated by people with not a lot.
You can also take a stroll to the Red Cross headquarters and give them a donation.
Something small but makes a difference for someone else.

Bonne chance.

Some words to help you along the way: 

Greetings (formal) Hello
Talofa Lava
Greetings (Informal) – ideal for a friend or a colleague
Malo! Or Malo lava!
How are you?
O a mai oe?
Blessed thank you
Manuia fa’afetai
Have a blessed day, (this is a great way to end emails instead of have a good day)..its a sincere way of wishing someone a blessed day or night
Manuia le Aso
Have a blessed Night/Evening
Manuia le Po:
I am sad
Ua ou faanoanoa
I am happy
Ua ou fiafia
I am tired
Ua ou lelava
Please do not disturb
Aua le faalavelave faamolemole
No thank you
Leai faafetai
Auoi Kafefe!
Thank you very much
Faafetai tele lava
My name is ....
O lo’u igoa o ......
Keep trying
Taumafai pea
Very good
Lelei tele
Very bad
Leaga tele
Don’t be discouraged, keep trying
Aua le fa’avaivai, taumafai pea
Can I have some money
Ska kupe
Palagi (White person)

Woman trapped in a man’s body


Monday, August 18, 2014

the inconsistent blogger fabricates a story about Saturday night


....but the only cure is to drink more consistently so that your liver becomes reacqainted 'those' beverages.

O se tala fiafia e amata ai lenei vaiaso:

O lea fa'atoa maua la'u tusi e taliaina ai lau faatoga atu mo se avanoa i le polokalame o le'a faia i Vanuatu ma Niu Koletonia, ae paga lea, e le'i talia ina lava la'u tusi faanoi i le galuega.
E 4 vaiaso ga ou ka'a ai ae o lea faatoa amata ae toe maua le avanoa. 

ia, tapuai mai 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Love, Lust and first kisses in Savaii

I love returning to NeenaLoves blog (As I remember it)because she is such a beautiful writer and when she talks about relationships I just think "fark, why can't I be emotive like that?" And so I read on in awe. 

She writes about past love and how powerful it is, that first love, and how it all comes back to you ....(except me because my experiences were quite unsexy. Unromantic. Unamazing. 

I do really wish my first love was like, legitimately a love, love, but it's hard because I was young and I was mixing up love, infatuation and ahem, lust.
It got me thinking, about firsts and all that sheboom, and it reminded me of my first kiss.

Hardly romantic when a bloke is like eating your face and your mouth and you just don't know what to do because you're in the dark behind a pa auke (hibiscus bush) but you know that the whole farken village walks past the pa auke to go to the pool. 
So you just stand there getting your face decided-suctioned by a prickly faced Italian who spoke no English. 
Man oh man, my first kiss wasn't much to write about ...well, now it is.
It was 

Before you decide I'm like a ...village bicycle or something like that, calm the bitch down, I was only doing the kisses, the real action didn't happen until I lost my virginity on my marital bed.

While the village celebrated and pigs flew in excitement,